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Is There a Three Times You're Out Rule for Getting Lost?
Posted On: 10/12/2006 21:32:54
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Okay, so I drove across the state three days ago to go to the Motley Crue show.
Our plan of attack was this:
I show up @ Lillith's house before 2:30.
From her house we pick up Kim from the airport.
Kim primps @ airport.
We go to the show and rock our fucking asses off to Motley Crue and Aerosmith.
Well, that WAS our plan.Think it happened that way?
Heh. No.
I got fucking lost getting to Lillith's house.
MapQuest LIES. It told me to get off of I-96 via Exit 163.
There is no Exit 163 people. Exit 163 does not EXIST.
So I end up in Novi. Ha ha . . .
I'm fucking driving my ass up and down Grand River Avenue wondering where the hell I am, and get this . . . it starts to friggin' rain.
Uh! Lillith calls me and helps to give me directions. Problem, this girl just got OFF the freeway and doesn't want to get back on it.
Luckily the recetionists at the Dentist's Office provide me with directions that involve side streets. Whopeee!!!!
So here I'm chugging down the streets of Novi towards the area (not Novi, people) that Lillith lives in. Only problem.
I'm late.
I get there shellshocked from getting lost in a torrential downpour and just wanted to B.R.E.A.T.H.E. but we have to pick up Kim @ the airport. Therefore I'm doing my breathing in the car on the way to pick her up. Okay, I can do that. It's not like I'm the one driving.
Well, first Kim's phone number was forgotten so we had to go back. Understandable. I was able to grab my make-up bag. (I quickly changed @ Lillith's and was doing my make-up en route. I grabbed the wrong bag the first time around, oops.) So we're back on the road, and we're going to the airport. Alright, cool. We may be about twenty minutes late to pick her up, but we're still cool.
Kim calls me on my cell. She's not in Detroit.
She's in Flint.
Um . . . I'm confused. About as confused as Lillith is @ this point. So she turns into a gas station and parks on the side of the parking lot.
Apparantly her flight was diverted to Flint due to weather conditions. So while the plane was re-fueling Kim had no idea whether or not she'd be making it to Detroit.First she said, "Go to the airport anyways."
Of course, my phone is about to blitz out on my due to low charge, and bad reception. So Lillith and I go into the station and get munchies and caffine.
Kim calls again. "How far is it from Flint to Detroit? I can maybe rent a car and drive it." Uh, Flint is two hours away from Detroit. Kim's not driving it.Uh uh, no way.
Luckily, and don't ask me when this call came in. She's getting on the plane and back en route to Detroit. Cool. But now we're even more pressed for time. In fact, we're just late.
Kim's flight is now landing at five, instead of four. We're no where near being closer to the show than we started out. And we didn't even see Kim until about 5:20.
So Kim is now changing in the car on the way to the show.Alrighty then . . .
Guess what?
We get lost going out of the airport.
Hahhaahah . . .
The show starts @ 7:30. It's 6:30 when we pull into a Wendy's to potty ourselves and get food, people. By the time we get to the show it's 8:14.
As we pull in we hear Motley playing. 
We're stuck all the way in Bumblefuck for parking too.
Luckily we do get to listen/see Motley for about four songs and rock out to Mick's guitar solo.
It was totally kick ass, but we're on the lawn. Oh, wait (I have to quote Lillith here)"mudpile." In fact I believe we spent more time in line for beer, in line for the bathroom, and scouting around trying to find a "certain something" then hanging out on the lawn.
Needless to say Aerosmith fucking rocked out, man!!!
"The Devil's got a new disguise . . ."
By the time we are heading back to the car we are cold, wet, and lost again. Because you see, we've temporarily lost the car. Or we could say misplaced, but I'm saving that for Lillith's keys. Good thing you found them babe! Who'da thunk you'd leave them there?
As we are trying to find the car, I'm about ready to go to the nearest limo, that is leaving the venue, and hijack it. Celebrity be damned! I don't care if it's a member of Motley, I was fucking cold and had to pee so badly @ that point.I would've sat on the driver's lap, celebrity in the back seat, and driving my cold/lazy/privileged ass around the parking lot until we found the vehicle. (I eventually did end up peeing behind a dumpster by the way. It was the fucking Jack that did it to me, I swear!)
We did not get lost getting back to town, where I bought wine for Kim and I and Lillith Corona. We drank the night away back @ the house talked shit until 6 in the am.
At about 2 pm I'm back on the road and ready for my 3 hour car drive home.
Only it turned out to be longer than that.
This genius couldn't find Grand River Avenue, because I got assbackwards after giving my car some gas.
But that was the least of my problems. I was almost near the exit for me to go from I-96 to US 131 North when I got sidetracked.
To Kent via the god damn, oddly placed Kent exit.
Luckily I wasn't far from the interstate and was able to re-connect. But still I have to ask:
Is there a three times "You're Out!" rule for getting lost?
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