Ipods RULE

Anyway...

it's strange when the waves of depression slam into you for weeks on end, then one random day... you feel as if love for someone has been rejuvenated.

-even though she is constantly annoying me in YIM right now bitching cause I'm not talking to her...

It's strangest when you know you've been doing the wrong things like fighting and arguing... neither of us are right, or both of us are.. whatever. I can't stand when I fight with Linsdsey. I hate when anyone fights with me.

The point is that sometimes when your with someone for a long time, your meter of love goes down; but when you see them again, it gets filled back up. But it isn't her that does it. It's the things around you that bring it back. Like in my case, music.

If any of you have the time or chance, look into Blue October.

Songs like Hate Me, which is basically about looking at yourself and how you can be selfish at times. Never saying thank you or truly giving the appreciation that that person needs or deserves. But they keep giving and giving until they leave your ass behind and you never take the time to figure out what you've done wrong.

Then there's two songs which remind me of how I feel about Lindsey...

"18th Floor Balcony"

I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing that everything is alright
To the core
Close that door
Is this happening?
My breathe is on your hair
I'm unaware
That you opened the blinds and let the city in
God, you held my hand
As we stand
Taking in everything.

And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep

But Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away.

We talked about mom's and dad's
About family's pasts
Getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display
For all to see
I can't believe this is happening.
I raised my hand as if to show you I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm still so your for the taking
Thats when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me...
I knew from the start
So my arms are open wide
And your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep

But here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...

I knew from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep

Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away.

And I'll try to sleep
To keep you in my dreams
So I can bring you home with me
And I'll try to sleep
And when I do I'll keep you in my...dreams

I knew it from the start
My arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
We're not going to sleep
But here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...we're both..
Flying away

and

the chorus from Congratulations.. reason being, the song is about how someone he loved is now married to someone else instead of him so... I love the chorus.

My mind it kind of goes fast
I try to slow it down for you
I think i'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been

My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say i'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I have wanted to give to you for years
My heart

So.. when words are hard to find, I've always gone to music and lyrics to find inspiration. Honestly I'm very greatful that this band has broken out of it's repeated let downs.

Before it was Staind to get me into my pissed off mood to get me motivated to do something that either I needed motivaton or blah whatever.

Metallica was always there to basically put me in a depressed and ready for anythign mood..

then there was techno. That put me into any mood I could write the songs about...

heh. oh well.. I wanted to post this.. missing lindsey sucks.

later